Imagine waking up to a black lab sitting on top of you barking at 5am. I guess it’s time to wake up. I’m not even sure how these two dogs got in my room being as my door was fully closed, but they are quite crafty. I guess I’ll just go ahead and start the coffee. If I wake up to a hunting dog on top of me at 5am, it’s time for coffee. Is 12 cups too much for two people? By 6:30 there’s only 4 cups left… well technically she’s pregnant so she can only have one cup anyway. That makes me look even worse, right? Don’t judge me.
If you had to wake up these kids, you would understand.
Best. Birth. Control. Ever.
Clothes on, breakfast served, lot’s of crying, let’s argue about who stole whose cup, out the door they go. Peace at last, thank God. It’s those little quite moments in the morning that I can sit down and breathe and think about what I need to do for myself. For example, this morning I finally found super glue. I’ve been needing to glue something for weeks and shit here’s my moment. Let’s do this. Well, that didn’t go as planned. The tube fucking exploded everywhere and both thumbs & index fingers are stuck together. At first, I can’t stop laughing. Like, really? Why the hell wouldn’t this happen to me first thing on a Monday or actually any day? So I just sat there legs crossed and said OMMMM. Then I thought about it… Shit. I’m realllly kind of screwed right now. What the hell do I do? That’s when I ran down stairs and panicked. I’m literally sitting there all glued together like an idiot. After about ten minutes in hot ass soapy water, I was able to pull my fingers apart. It’s safe to say I will not be using that ever again.
Both hands covered in dry glue, I took the mastiff for a two mile walk around town. When I got back, all I wanted was my normal breakfast. Two eggs with avocado & pico de gallo. WHAT THE F. No eggs. I had to go all the way across a town I don’t know to find the store. Every time I leave this house, I end up lost. Not to mention, there is no service in this city. It’s like a black hole everywhere I go.
At least I have these beautiful flowers to look at from my birthday. They are so gorgeous and smell amazing. They come up to my knee cap.